June 12: Hot Pants!!

‘Sup pups?

I know, some of you are thinking that I’m just a pawn on Mom & Dad’s RV chessboard. You couldn’t be more wrong.

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As you can clearly see from the chessboard, I’m actively pursuing the Blumenfeld Gambit. Or not. Regardless, I’m a vital part of our daily activities.

Early in the day, I could tell that Mom and Dad were packing up … and I was none too happy about it.

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I will dearly miss each Grandma.

We headed out … traveling the highways and byways of Wisconsin … otherwise known as Interstate 43 … or known in our RV as the bumpiest interstate in the world through Ozaukee County.

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After Dad spend ninety minutes unsuccessfully trying to secure a SiriusXM converter replacement at Camping World, we continued through Milwaukee. I looked long and hard to find Fonzie, Laverne & Shirley, and Hank the Brewer Pup … but no luck. Just lots and lots of city views, traffic, and road construction as far as the eye can see.

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Dad filled our RV with precious petroleum products just off of Highway 100. I “loves” this place.

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Finally, we arrived at Jellystone Park in Caledonia (click here). Pups, this is yet another 4-paw campground … with one big drawback. Read the sign.

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You can’t enter buildings, you cannot enter the water park. It’s like a dog can’t do anything here.

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I hope there’s no rule against sniffing garbage cans for pee-mail.

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Instead of having the attractions shoved in my face, I decided to ride the pines with my buddy.

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At least somebody loves me.

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Finally, I decided to start breaking the rules. All obedience and no fun makes Bert a boring pup.

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We headed back to the RV – Dad said he wanted to do a little work in the storage bays – if you can call that work.

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This, my pups, is where things got interesting.

Dad was clearing out the storage bays. He found a 9-volt battery in one of the bays, and thinking nothing of it, he put the battery in his right front pocket. Now, I’m no scientist, but here’s what I think happened. One of Dad’s keys touched the positive terminal. One of Dad’s other keys touched the negative terminal. The keys were connected to a metal key chain. What does that mean? It means that Dad had a hot circuit running in his right front pocket – right next to some precious cargo, if you know what I’m talking about, and I’m not even sure if I know what I’m talking about at this juncture.

It took a little while for Dad to realize what was happening.

The nine volt battery heated up pretty fast.

At first, Dad thought that the keys were poking through seven layers of leg skin. Outside of a veritable plethora of hot, jabbing aches, Dad continued his quest to straighten out the storage bays, unabated. The action really heated up moments later, as Dad began to aggressively adjust his shorts, then his underwear, becoming ever-more curious as to the cause of the simulated microwave oven cooking his nether region. Dad reached into his right shorts pocket, and pulled out the hot potato. He couldn’t even hold the battery, it was so hot.

It fact, it was so hot that it seared Dad’s thigh.

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So that’s today’s hot topic. Be careful with nine-volt batteries, pups.

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