June 13: Bailey

‘Sup pups?

It is Friday the 13th. It is a full moon, a honey moon, from what I’ve been told, the first one since 1919.

So it was only a matter of time before my comfortable place in the universe was BLOWN UP by a devil dog, a hound from you know where …

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Let’s make one thing perfectly clear right now. I do not share. I’m the center of attention. I’m the reason you are reading this. I exist for your pleasure. I exist for my own pleasure! So I don’t give a hoot that this “Bailey” is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted canine worthy of love and attention. That’s not the issue.

And another thing. Last week, I was perfectly happy with Carla. I found her to be generally affable.

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But tonight, she brings along a husband, two perfectly kind young adult children, and this crazy canine named “Bailey” (I think the dog’s name is Bailey. For all I care, the dog could be named Chauncey). Husband and two kids? Good! Canine? Not so good.

It’s hard to have a conversation when there is a dog sitting across from you. Regardless, I gave it the old college try.

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Still, there was something a little bit CRAZY about this dog.

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Do you see what I’m talking about? You can’t even make out a clear image of this canine – she’s a shifty five-year old, clever, wily, seemingly unassuming.

I’m told we have to spend the weekend with her.

I am under no obligation to give this dog any attention.

But can I tell you a secret?

I think I kind of like this dog!

Can I tell you another secret?

I kissed Bailey. Right on the lips. When nobody but Dad was looking. Don’t tell anybody! I have a reputation to maintain.

By the way, there was a major game of mini-golf played late this evening. The stakes were high – a coveted campground championship. The drama unfolded on the 18th hole. Steve led by a shot over Mom, with Carla two shots behind. Steve basically melted down, crumbling under the immense burden of performing well on the final hole, carding a three on the final hole. This left the door open for Carla – she would need a hole-in-one to force a tie. Carla scored a coveted HOLE IN ONE!! Wow! This left Mom, who needed to hole the 18th in just two shots. Guess what? Mom did it, she did it!!

The throng celebrated the three-way-tie by eating foil dinners over the fire. Foil dinners are a blend of hamburger and vegetables wrapped in aluminum foil and then cooked over an open fire at temperatures approaching one thousand degrees. Yes, one thousand degrees! Ok, tonight, it was six hundred degrees shy of one thousand degrees, but who’s counting?

Anyway, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I’m being told that tomorrow could be crazy fun, with more friends, and a new Aunt/Uncle/Cousins to be seen. Will I see Bailey again?

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