June 19, Part 2

‘Sup pups?

This event required an individual post – designed to give it the attention it deserves.

FYI, my parents named our GPS “Mona”, after “Mona the Camel”, who resides on the north side of San Juan Island. Mona will become relevant later in our discussion.

 

Last Night:

Dad: You picked a campground 38 miles off the highway?

Mom: It’s not 38 miles off the highway. Why would I do that?

Dad: It says here the campground is 38 miles off the highway.

Mom: Trust me, it isn’t 38 miles off the highway. It’s just off the highway.

 

Early This Afternoon – After The Corn Palace, Mitchell, SD:

Mom: Mona says we need to turn right, to get back to the highway.

Dad: Why would I do that? The sign says I-90 is straight ahead.

Mom: Then don’t you think Mona would tell us to go straight if we were supposed to go straight?

Dad: Mona doesn’t have the slightest idea what is going on. I don’t trust Mona.

Mom: Alright.

Dad: I’m going straight.

Mom: Alright.

Dad: Why does the sign say I-90 East? Don’t we want I-90 West?

Mom: Yes.

Dad: Interesting.

Mom: We’re going the wrong way.

Dad: But we will get back to I-90 by going this way, eventually.

Mom: We could have saved 10 minutes by doing what Mona told us to do.

Dad: Look over there, Mom, there’s a K-Mart. We wouldn’t have seen that going the correct way, would have we?

Mom: Alright.

 

Late This Afternoon:

Mom: The directions to the campground suggest we should take Exit 131. Let’s take Exit 131.

Dad: Remember last night, when I told you that the road is 38 miles long? Who wants to take Exit 131? I don’t.

Mom: Those are the directions. Why would the campground lie about the directions?

Dad: What does Mona say?

Mom: You don’t trust Mona. Remember when we were in Mitchell and you ignored Mona?

Dad: What does Mona say?

Mom: Mona says to take Exit 150 and drive down Highway 73.

Dad: Then we’ll take Highway 73.

Mom: Why are you listening to Mona now?

Dad: Because I’m not taking that 38 mile route at Exit 131.

Mom: I’m going to look at a map.

Dad: We have Mona, we don’t need a map. What is this, 1968?

Mom: The map says that the campground is only 8 miles south of Exit 131.

Dad: You mean 38 miles.

Mom: No, 8 miles.

Dad: Are you sure you are reading the map correctly?

Mom: It’s not hard to read the number “eight”.

Dad: I don’t trust the map.

Mom: We’re a mile away from Exit 150. We have to make a decision.

Dad: We’re doing what Mona tells us to do.

Mom: I’m looking at the map. Highway 73 to Highway 44 is about 60 miles. If we go to Exit 131, we’ll only go about 28 miles.

Dad: What color is the highlighted route on the GPS?

Mom: Pink.

Dad: Pink is the fastest route. Let’s trust Mona.

Mom: Pull over at the end of the off-ramp, and I will show you the map.

Dad: Why would I pull over? Mona says to take the exit.

Mom: We have to decide right now. Pull over.

Dad: I trust Mona.

Mom: You are going to be so mad when you find out we could have saved a half-hour by taking Exit 131.

Dad: We’re doing what Mona tells us to do.

 

Sixty Seconds Later:

Dad takes Exit 150, refuses to pull over, turns left, and heads down Highway 73.

Mom: Maybe we’ll use the extra half-hour for some sight-seeing.

Dad: I looked at a map last night. Exit 131 is a 38 mile stretch of highway. This will be faster.

Mom: It won’t be faster. It will be slower. Much slower.

Dad: Nonsense.

Mom: Alright.

Dad: Isn’t it beautiful out here?

Mom: You are going to be so mad later on.

 

40 Minutes Later

Dad: Why would we turn north on Highway 44? We traveled 20 miles south, then 20 miles west, and now we’re going to back track 20 miles to the north?

Mom: Yes.

Dad: But why would we do that?

Mom: Because you decided to trust Mona.

Dad: But why would Mona tell me to drive 20 miles south, and then 20 miles back up north? Why would a GPS device do that?

Mom: The directions from the campground would have saved us a half-hour.

Dad: But it makes no sense. None at all! Why would Mona do that?

Mom: Why are you trusting Mona?

Dad: Because she is programmed to do the right thing.

Mom: But you didn’t trust her at lunch, you picked your own route.

Dad: Oh oh.

Mom: You didn’t trust her at lunch, and she was right.

Dad: Yes.

Mom: And you trusted her just now, and she was wrong.

Dad: Apparently.

Mom: Why did you choose Mona over me?

Dad: Because I thought that we had to go 38 miles after exiting at Exit 131.

Mom: Eight miles.

Dad: Right.

Mom: Slow down.

Dad: What?

Mom: You’re going 70 miles per hour. The speed limit is 55.

Dad: I’m trying to shave some time off the trip so that it doesn’t take an hour.

Mom: WAIT – THAT’S THE CAMPGROUND, RIGHT THERE, TURN NOW!

Dad: I can’t stop, we’re going 70 miles per hour.

Mom: WE’RE PASSING THE CAMPGROUND!

Dad: Mona says we’re still 10 miles from the campground.

Mom: That’s the campground we just passed. Turn around.

Dad: I cannot do a U-turn with nearly 60 feet of vehicles in tow.

Mom: Turn around as soon as you can.

 

Four Minutes Later.

Dad: I’m turning around at that gas station.

Mom: It’s about time.

Dad: Don’t you think that if I could have turned around, I would have turned around?

Mom: Just turn around.

Dad: Are you sure you typed the campground address into Mona correctly?

Mom: 100% sure.

Dad: Then why would Mona tell us the campground is still ten miles away when you think we’ve already passed it?

Mom: I don’t care what Mona says, that was the campground back there.

Dad: Could there be two KOA campgrounds in this area?

Mom: Just go back, and I’ll type in the address again.

 

One Minute Later:

Mona: Go straight for fourteen miles.

Dad: That’s impossible! Mona is telling us the campground is 11 miles past where the campground is that you just saw, and we already covered that ground. And previously, Mona said the campground was 10 miles in the other direction. How can the campground be 10 miles to the west and 14 miles to the east at the exact same time?

Mom: Just go three more miles and we’ll be at the campground.

Dad: But do you see my point? It’s like Mona is trying to approach the campground from both negative and positive infinity, at the same time.

Mom: Pay attention, the campground is coming up on the left.

Dad: What is going on with Mona?

Mom: The campground is right there. Turn left.

Dad: Well, what do you know? That’s the campground!

Mom: I know it is.

Dad: Oh, I am SOOOOO MAD!

2 thoughts on “June 19, Part 2

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