December 25 = Merry Christmas!!

‘Sup pups?

I’m still here, pups, enjoying, as Madonna would say, “La Isla Bonita”. These days, working on month 16 of a 6-12 month expectancy, I thoroughly enjoy the daily routine. It starts with waking Dad up at about 6:00am, a full two hours before sunrise. Daylight Savings Time means nothing to me … humans may have rolled the clock back an hour, but to me, 7:00am is now 6:00am, and I am hungry, so it is time to get up!!

My favorite break of the day happens around 9:00am. Dad takes me out, and I perform my duties with military precision. Then, when finished, it is time for a rousing game of “rocks”. Dad grabs about twenty rocks, and we head down to the back yard patio. Once there, Dad winds up, and with extreme vigor, he tosses the rocks, one by one, into the ocean. Oh, how I love this! I bark loudly, then wait to see if the rock hits a tree. We want the rock to hit a tree, because the rock makes contact with extreme prejudice and makes a loud “CRACK” sound that resonates across the neighborhood. If the rock does not hit a tree, as is the case 75% of the time, then we wait patiently until the rock spins into the ocean – where we evaluate the splash, not unlike the way millions evaluated the splash after watching Kareem Abdul Jabbar dive from the ten meter platform on ABC’s “Splash”.

The process is repeated, until no rocks are left.

If I may speak candidly at this point, and I think I may, the morning routine gives me something to look forward to, something to live for. So does television. Sweet, sweet television. My mornings revolve around rocks, my evenings include quality Christmas programming … including this story about rejection, perseverance, and nasal illumination.


Did you know that bumbles bounce? It’s the key takeaway from “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”. That, and the fact that Santa is a quitter who refused to deliver gifts through a little bit of bad weather until a despised child with a fluorescent nasal mutation volunteered to stand in as a head light . By the way, as Mom pointed out, pay attention when you watch this time-honored classic next Christmas … somehow, Santa puts on approximately 60 pounds of blubber on Christmas Eve alone. You have to ingest a lot of Pupperoni to make that happen – trust me, I’ve tried.

You’ll be happy to know that my weight stabilized at 32.8 pounds. And in recent weeks, I’ve been able to inhale entire Pop Tart crusts without creating bowel-based issues.

It’s one small win after another these days. Madonna might encourage me to “Take A Bow”. At this time, I think I will do just that. And you, you must be my “Lucky Star”.

Peace Out,



3 thoughts on “December 25 = Merry Christmas!!

  1. Bert ol’ boy,
    Glad that your 4 paws are still scampering around on terra firma.
    Hope that your Master doesn’t toss so many rocks into the ocean that he’ll get a bent prop when cruising in close to shore with the yacht.
    Happy New Year!

  2. Merry Christmas! My people are still hanging out down here in Desert Hot Springs, every day we get new dogs in the dog park, yesterday was something called a Great Dane?! Huh, I made sure he knew who was in charge as my crew of hound dogs rule, and we steal all the balls….Glad you are hanging in there, and have a Happy New Year, you are an inspiration to all of us. Never had a PopTart, but i can tell you that other dogs toy ball, when properly chewed up, are delicious!
    Cheers..Blossom, Tom and Cheryl

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